Things I've discovered about myself

1. Spraying urine at my parents is the cat's ass! You ought to see the faces they make as they try to dodge my stream. It is awesome!

2. Having a touch of Jaundice means that I have to bask in the sun. The sun is a big ball of light that I don't like. After 9 months in the womb I don't like light at all.

3. I like staying up all night, and since I don't like to be alone I drag a parent along from about 2 to 6am. Last night dad and I watched "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2". Don't worry about it scarring me for life, I don't see beyond 2' at this point and dad had the volume down low.

4. Mom calls me "Pumpkin Pie" and dad calls me "Wilhelm" (pronounced VILHELM). Why? I don't have a freaking clue. Why give me a name if you aren't going to use it?

5. I smile when I fart.

6. I fart ALOT.

7. Mom and dad must keep the freaking wet wipes in the fridge. I mean c'mon, who wants a cold damp rag on their business?

8. Dad thinks its funny to play with my arms and legs when I'm asleep. He had me waving at mom, doing high fives, doing that John Travolta arm jesture from Saturday Night Fever. All that crap and the dumb ass doesn't take pics.

9. I scare the dogs.

10. The cats hate me.

Well, thats been my life so far. Been here 7 days and still kickin' and tootin'. I'll leave dad to tell you about my Dr. visit.

Wilhelm
a.k.a.
Pumpkin Pie